Since working on the Australian transfer production of Dirty Dancing in Melbourne, I have had chronic back pain whose cause and remedy no one seemed to decipher. I have no real idea how it began or why. Massage helped, and, fortunately for me, David has some training in it, but it was a temporary relief. I have good days and bad days -- it's hard to tell what triggers the pain. I have been struggling with this condition for the past two years, and have undergone a myriad of treatments: I've worked with numerous physiotherapists in New York as well as a man who was supposedly the best sports-injury therapist, who treats the New York Jets; a chiropractor who nearly suffocated me while "stretching" me out under all his weight and might; I've had acupuncture and electromagnetic machines used on me (apparently used by astronauts to cope with gravitational changes in their space travels); I've had Lidocaine injections along my spine. No one seemed to really help, except for the osteopath in London. I responded to his treatments -- I felt better for longer stretches of time -- but once I left London and I could not see my osteopath, the pain returned with a vengeance.
In Toronto, things with regards to my back had continued to be up and down. A few weeks ago, however, I had a particularly terrible episode that lead to David having to take me to a clinic just to get powerful enough pain killers and muscle relaxants for the time being. It wasn't good, it was scary.
We had been talking about my starting a pilates class for a while, for strengthening, but with our unpredictable lifestyle, with all the traveling, we never had the time to set it up or go, or for me to fully commit to it. After our visit to the clinic, we decided that Toronto would be the place where we did everything we could for me to start rehabilitative pilates while working around the show and our work. We asked around, and got a recommendation that seemed sound, a studio within walking distance from our apartment.
I have found the pilates teacher perfect for me. Monica, owner and instructor of Core Studio. She is Norwesian, married to a Canadian. She is beautiful and spiritual, as well as intelligent and fiercely strong. She explained that she discovered yoga and pilates when she used to be a "bad girl," riding motorcycles without a helmet. She got thrown off her bike, hit the curve, and was nearly killed. She survived, but with a severe neck injury. To recover she had work through pain, learn to manage and overcome her injury, starting with small movements and muscles we hardly think about when we're healthy and injury-free.
She has been amazing for me. I have been taking private classes with her 3 times a week for the last 3 weeks. I feel safe with her, I trust her, and I have learned so many things. Whereas many physiotherapists have just pointed out all I need to do is to improve my posture, Monica has taught me which muscles to use to naturally gain better posture. She is encouraging and empowering. This morning was my 9th pilates class--it almost feels as though I have been to more. In just those many classes, I feel my core differently, feel stronger, understand how I could modify my body to cope with pain better. David has come with me to many of my classes, too, so it has been a peaceful, spiritual, emotional journey as well. There is something about learning to strengthen one's "core" -- as in one's abdominals -- that makes one examine one's spiritual, emotional, human "core" -- especially while working through pain. I have cried on a couple of occasions, once upon discovering just how locked my back was and how incapable I was of making seemingly small movements; on another occasion when I really felt deeply understood by Monica, without having to tell her anything about myself, really -- I felt understood merely from her instructions and explanations tailored specifically toward me (she incorporates a lot of yoga and meditation into my sessions). It has been a fantastic experience.
I still feel pain. But I feel stronger about it. I hope to continue taking as many classes as I can while in Toronto, and try to find an instructor wherever I go. I practice pilates breathes while sitting around at the theater during tech. It has been a great discovery.
(Now if only I could get my hip flexors loose enough so I could do the Penny kick!)
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